In this blog post, Sourabh Makhija, from RDVV – Jabalpur guides on the steps that can be taken if you’re subjected to mental torture and cruelty. 

Introduction

There seems to be a strong notion in society that men are always abusers and women are always the victim. Because of this no matter what the situation is, women get all the sympathy, but men rarely do. However, there are many cases where men are subject to torture by their spouses. So it’s wrong to say that men are the “stronger sex” and women are “innocent sex”. Read this article to know about what constitutes cruelty, what one should do if he is subject to cruelty and torture by his wife.

“MARD KO DARD NAHI HOTA” is good only in movies, ask a man facing torture from his wife, he will tell you “Kitna dard hota hai!” (How much it hurts).

Identify the act of Cruelty or Torture

Expressing views on cruelty, the Supreme Court in Samar Ghosh vs. Jaya Ghosh, (2007) 4 SCC 511, said, “We have come to a definite conclusion that there cannot be any comprehensive definition of the concept of “mental cruelty”, within which all kinds of cases of mental cruelty can be covered. No court in our considered view should even attempt to give a comprehensive definition of mental cruelty.”

So, the first thing one need to do is to identify whether you are becoming a victim of cruelty or not. If your wife is doing any of the below-mentioned acts, then you are a victim of cruelty –

1. Physical attacks on you.
2. Continuous rage, anger, screaming or yelling at you.
3. Constant belittling or criticising your abilities, employment or looks.
4. Publicly flaunting an affair or adulterous relationship.
5. Falsely accusing you of committing adultery
6. Failing to tell you about an acquired sexually transmitted disease, while continuing to maintain sexual relations with you.
7. Making it a ritual to stay away from the marital residence without any valid explanation.

There are many other kinds of abuse which a man has to face. There are times when a lady, deliberately or inadvertently, abuses her man.

Problems faced by men

• Social problem: Our patriarchal society does not believe in the concept of victimisation of men. They just don’t subscribe to the idea that a man can ever be a “victim”.
• Legal problem: There is a heavy gender bias in the Indian legislature. Plus, the legal community, like the society, is also prejudiced. Lawyers hardly take up cases where the defendant is a woman.
• Administrative problem: Due to the heavy gender bias, administrative elements (such as the Police) hesitate to take action when a man lodges a complaint against a woman but will jump at any man who brushes past a lady, even by mistake.

What I would suggest a man do in this situation

Collect as many evidence as possible

Save everything you think is relevant for your case. Take screenshots of the conversations, record calls, etc. which will intensify your chances of winning in a divorce suit. Also, this will help your advocate to trust you and in presenting evidence before the court will eventually make things easier for you and your advocate.

File a Complaint first

One should file a complaint as soon as he thinks that things aren’t under control. You can file a complaint in the nearest police station; the police will record everything you will tell them.

Benefits of doing this act

• The police will be aware of the torture you are facing; they will have all the evidence and records essential for future proceedings.
• Your wife will no longer be able to file a false complaint against you. It usually happens that the woman file false complaint in the police stations, complaining that her husband is asking her for dowry is doing violence to Which are prosecuted by Sec 498-A Indian Penal Code, 1860. This particular section is used by women almost daily, and it is capable of putting a man behind bars. So in case, the police had a record of your complaints in advance, they will not jump to arrest you in the first complaint made by your wife.
• The legal method has all the solutions, if you are not confident enough to take such a massive action, it is suggested to you to visit http://cliklawyer.com/, here you can share your problems with the best lawyers, who not only will understand your problems but will also guide you with the actual and proper procedure.

Legal Provisions available with the Husband

• Section 324 Indian Penal Code, 1860 – Voluntarily causing hurt by dangerous weapons or means – If the actions of a wife are so violent in nature that she uses a weapon in anger to cause hurt to her husband, the husband can lodge FIR in the nearest police station, showing his wounds and medical reports. The police then get all the facts of the matters registered. Then after following the procedure, the wife can be prosecuted. The voluntarily causing hurt may sometimes lead to the death of a spouse, in such cases, the culprit will be liable for committing murder. If the husband is tired of being treated in this way by his wife, he can file a petition for divorce on the ground of cruelty.
• Section 13(1)(ia) of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 – Divorce on the Ground of Cruelty – You can file a petition for Divorce anytime after one year of completion of your marriage citing any of the various reasons available under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 (in case you are Hindu). Cruelty is one of the reasons under which you can file a petition for divorce. As per Section 13(1)(ia) of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 – any spouse can get a divorce on the grounds of cruelty. Under Section 13(1)(ia) the term cruelty includes mental as well as physical cruelty. A Division Bench of Madras High Court comprising, Justices Elipe Dharma Rao and M. Venugopal defined cruelty as “what conduct would amount to cruelty was a question of fact to be decided on the facts and particulars of each case. When a divorce was sought on the grounds of cruelty, the acts complained should be so grave and weighty to enable a court to conclude that one party could not reasonably be expected to live with the other.”
• Section 27 of The Special Marriage Act, 1954 has 12 grounds under which one can get a divorce on the ground of cruelty.

A list of 38 cases where husbands won divorce on the grounds of cruelty –

https://www.facebook.com/notes/subu-subramaniam/happy-new-year-2016-38-cases-where-husbands-won-divorce-on-grounds-of-cruelty-/913717595363582/

Conclusion

Abusive relations are often wound up as a man beating up his wife. Well, that’s what we often see around, but there are stories which support the other sides as well.I have personally come across many men who silently suffer being bullied by their partners, and their lives are more miserable. Sometimes wife abuse mothers and other family members of the husband as they are confident that society will support them. Abuse is abuse. The abuser is at fault. The victim of the abuse whether they are male or female deserves and needs help.

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References:

1. http://legalperspectives.blogspot.in/2010/10/what-constitutes-cruelty-supreme-court.html
2. https://indiankanoon.org/doc/724142/
3. http://www.himvani.com/news/2009/01/09/does-your-wife-torture-you-contact-man-cell/