What are the Things that Hold you back?

May 15, 2019

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This Article is written by Ramanuj Mukherjee, CEO, LawSikho.He shares his insights on how small wins can help you to claim your power back and put you back on track in your personal and professional Life.

I recently met a lawyer in my hometown. I have been mentoring her over calls for a while.

She requested to meet personally, and I finally found the time.

She is having a tough time. Her career is going nowhere. She can’t find a good senior lawyer to work with and learn from.

Her parents want her to get married and have kids, and they don’t particularly care about her building a career. Shifting out of Kolkata to find a good job is strictly no-no from the family perspective. Even at the age of 28, she is financially dependent. She also needs permission to do anything she needs to do for her career.

She interviewed with some legal NGOs and got rejected there. She hasn’t been able to get a single interview in the last 3 months.

She has to spend a lot of time every day looking after her sick mother.

She had to struggle to get the permission to go for 11 days Vipassana program, which I had advised her to do. This program runs on the donation so you can do it for free. She did it. So she has the intention to improve herself. She notched up a small victory there.

She can’t think of doing a course from LawSikho. How can she spend almost 30,000 for doing an online course?

There are several things holding her back. And her story is not unique. There are tens of thousands of lawyers with the exact same story. You probably know people who are in that position.

How can they claim their power back? What would be your advice to them?

I want to know. Write in the comment section and tell me.

Here is what I told her:

Start making lists of things you want to do, things you want to achieve, tasks that you can do right now to improve your situation in any way.
Start exercising at home, and you will feel better as soon as you do that. You will begin to get more confidence, you will get back mental strength and the will to excel in life. No need to even go to the gym, use YouTube tutorials for bodyweight exercises and do them at home for 15 mins every day.
Almost all people in our generation are deficient in vitamin B12 and vitamin D3. B12 promotes brain health. It can also make you smarter, more alert and in better mental health generally. Vitamin D3 will give you a physical energy boost. Your body aches will go away. You will feel physically stronger within days. Also, additionally, get a general multivitamin and minerals supplement. Consider the intake of probiotics that will increase vitamin absorption in your body. You can google all of these and read from people who are much more knowledgeable about these subjects.
Write one article every day on one new legal issue. Even if you fail, try to write one every day. Keep sitting in front of a computer for 4 hours a day trying to write (this may not be possible for those who are employed, everyone else can do it, but give excuses). If you keep sitting, again and again, you will eventually be able to write. Writing is training to think. The better you learn to think, the better you will write. There is enough free knowledge available on how to write articles, how to research, how to find a topic etc. You just need to build the discipline to do it every day.
Physically meet one good lawyer every week. Ask them for advice. Ask for mentorship. Ask them to guide you. Ask intelligent questions about their practice area. Learn how the industry works. Be incredibly curious. Be a knowledge absorption machine.
Read one non-fiction book every week.

I wanted to give more tasks but then held myself back. For a beginner, even this is a lot. I told her to do these things for a month and then to call me back.

When you score small wins in life, you begin to grow and your hunger for more growth surges ahead.

Before that, people in most precarious situations also claim “I am fine”.

Stop lying. Stop convincing yourself that you are fine. Say I am not fine. I am screwed. I don’t know what to do. Then cry if you have to.

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When you realise it is not fine, you will be forced to take action. You will have to get up and move. Your brain will think of solutions even when you will sleep. You will seek out solutions. You will not tolerate horrible conditions if you find yourself in trouble.

Do not say you are fine when you are really not. Please don’t.

I wanted to tell her to do our LawSikho courses. I can see how our courses can change her life. But the truth is that she is not mentally ready. When she will begin to grow, she will begin to understand that the small fee we charge is nothing compared to what she can earn as an advocate. Right now it is not that she does not have confidence in our course, in reality, she is worried that she can’t earn enough to justify that 28,000 investment in a one year course.

Truth be told, I could have been in her position. I am from the same town, and I know the small town mentality. Nobody can imagine that there can be something bigger out there, beyond opening a shop or getting a government job somehow. So people are constantly influencing you to be mediocre, play safe, and stay small to avoid risks.

It can wreak havoc with the psychology of even the best of us.

The way I got beyond that mentality was by reading a lot of books. Reading shaped my character and taught me to dream big. What is your medium to get beyond the mediocrity around you?

It will take her some time to get out of that mindset. She has to gain back confidence first. That is why I recommended actions to her that will make her mentally strong and improve her confidence.

Robust people take robust actions. Weak people can’t take robust actions, they take weak actions. Start with your physical and mental health.

That was my parting advice to this woman advocate. What would you have advised?

Respond in the comment section below and let me know.

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